We all Know the Myth,“Black is slimming and easy.”

CHAPTER 1: BLACK

You ask, “What about my precious best friend and confidante, Black?”

I get that the color black might seem easier to work with in your wardrobe. Maybe because, you might find it slimming or, perhaps safe and just easy. It's at this point, I'd encourage you to ask yourself, "what does choosing a singular color say about my style"? Or "Why am I uncomfortable stepping outside my comfort, if only just to try something different?

Let me reassure you. There is nothing wrong with wearing ALL one color! Color options aren't for everyone but, it doesn't mean you can't throw color on somewhere to bump your finished look up a notch or two.

We all Know the Myth,“Black is slimming and easy.”

A myth for some, and real for others. I’ve seen the “narrow” and “wide” wear black, and in both cases it is not always a pretty picture. For example, if you are already rather “slight,” black creates the “lollipop” effect: the big head attached to the stick view...not that attractive or pretty. And, although skeptics would like to believe they look great because they look REALLY skinny, the effect can often be misinterpreted, unpleasant and scary. There is a solution--a hint of color somewhere will refocus the eye to see more depth on the body. A place for the eye to travel around, verses locking in on one oversized area. If you are full figured, drawing the eye to other areas--say neckline, hemline, or subtle waistline--will give the effect of more shape in areas you may see none.

If you are someone with size “opportunities” in the fuller sense, even black will not create the illusion of smaller, thinner. More likely, it will offer a look of: “Yes, I have opportunities in the caboose, but it’s okay ‘cause black hides it.” NOT. It can actually accentuate what you don’t want to show, like a flat “bum,” or the dreaded overhang of the arms or chest, a disappearing waistline or one mistaken for a pregnancy at 50, a bustline that’s never the “perfect” size. For some weight distribution or “opportunities” are beautiful and acceptable for others it’s a hamster wheel of yo-yo diets and excessive exercise that never seems to make a difference. I have more to share with you on this topic later on in the book, but for now, let me explain the “wiggy jiggy” and the meaning of “opportunities” and what I’ve learned.

Wiggy jiggy refers to that excess of skin or fat that dances when you move. You know, those bat wings on the underside of the arms that move unsolicited, the extra skin in the caboose that you can’t contain, or the ever growing mid-section we all are in denial over, whether from what we eat or don’t eat. Much of these "side effects" affect both sexes. It's not just a woman thing. Anyone who claims they have not been on the hamster wheel of dieting, is kidding themselves.

Sadly, for women from puberty on “the waist” becomes an ever changing experience that can bully ones self esteem, especially as changes will continue long past menopause. Very few diets, safe diets, will fully address the woes a woman goes through while attempting to hold on to thinning hair, managing the waistline, holding on to muscle and, keep her sanity at the same time. As women, we do have a reasonable excuse: Hormones baby!

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You’re gaining weight, especially around your abdomen, even when you eat well and exercise.

Cortisol tends to make you thick around the middle, even when you’re doing everything “right.” Lissa Rankin MD

Did you know that cortisol is partially responsible for the physical changes both men and women experience as we go through life?

To put it in a friendlier way…the body “opportunities” can become your “friend” if you know how to better accentuate what you like about your body versus the attempt to hide what you don’t and that doesn’t make any solid dark colors or black the end all solution. Just saying….

It’s really how we navigate the reality of change that makes the “opportunities” work. Instead of fighting to get that body you admire on someone else, why not embrace the one you have and learn how to appreciate it?

Are you wondering about the opportunities that plague men? For instance, where is their wiggy-jiggy? Well, most often it is found in the mid section, however, as The New York Times health guide notes below, it can show up in other areas just like for women.

One of the most common symptoms of hypercortisolism is weight gain, reports the Mayo Clinic. The weight gain typically happens in the central upper body. Patients can have fat deposits on their shoulders, chest and upper back, which may be described as a "buffalo hump." The patient’s legs and arms will appear thin. Often the patient’s face will become round and turn slightly red. This type of facial change is termed a "moon face," according to "The New York Times" Health Guide.

In truth men face issues they don’t talk about, for instance, a sagging rear or none at all, a loss of muscle in areas once visible, arms, chest, or the ever increasing tummy. Most men do not obsess as much as women, they simply find a solution and adjust to be more comfortable. In other words they are not choosing to hide behind a solid dark color, or rather they are, but not necessarily in the same way a woman might choose. How will you know your man is experiencing symptoms associated with hypercortisolism? Likely, they will quietly choose a “friendlier” looser fit.

Let's review, ”I look my best in black.” Do you?

Really? Without appearing too rude or righteous, for women, I’d encourage you to ask yourself this question, “How much make-up did you need to apply to give your face color and definition? And, how did you really feel about your appearance when you left the house?” Did you fidget or add a stronger lip, cheek or eye color?

Ladies, there is no right or wrong answer here, rather a thoughtful discussion with yourself. Here's an idea to play with the next time you reach for all black or, all of any dark solid color. Take a moment and consider, “the why behind your choice”.

As for the men, these conversations rarely apply. It’s far more simple for them as they may not feel the same about what image they are projecting. Men generally have a different purpose in mind. Competition in the office, making a good impression on someone they are meeting for the first time or, because they appreciate getting dressed properly for any event. Men are creatures of comfort and textures when it comes to the wardrobe. Sadly, men generally don’t consider their physical opportunities as spaces they want to conceal or accentuate, they just want to get dressed and get out. The psychology of men and their fashion is a mystery although, with more and more emphasis being made on mens fashion, the new generation of male fashionistas is growing. Consider this, men wear more color, mix textures and wear their style with confidence and when they don’t they find the humor in their choices. They simply don’t challenge themselves the same way we women do.

“The French are Always in Black.”

I beg to differ; it’s not actually true. However, the French tend to wear black and blue, a notion which challenges the senses of most, but when they do, it is not without an accent of color, an accessory that brings up color. Fashion icon and legendary Coco Chanel, always chose color in the most subtle of ways, a scarf, a piece of jewelry or a “quiet” accent on the lapel of a jacket. She was one of the few who could wear all black very well.

When men wear all black, likely there are a number of factors considered and, most are far different then why a women would choose to wear all black. The male accessory to cut the severity of all black is, fun socks, a playful tie, a pocket square, well kept shoes and watch. The choice of a tie and pocket square become the key accessory for a plain suit. Let’s face it, being monochromatic has moments, but in truth can really be a “snore” and, unappealing when worn too frequently. Now, take the same solid suit in black and add a whimsical lining, Etro, Paul Smith, Robert Graham are terrific examples of shaking up the look.

I have always found European men to more adventurous in their use of color even when the core of their look is all black, navy or grey, they find a way to infuse color into their style. Personally, I am never bored when an effort is made to “boost” the classic clean monochromatic look with as little as, a pair of socks. The classic style from Tom Ford to Giorgio Armani will always infuse a subtle booster not always obvious.

Next time you see a man in all black take notice of his shoes and socks, you might find a surprise….or not!

You might be asking, what’s Really Going On?

I think it’s this...for those of us who are used to dressing in our comfort zone or monochromatic, all one very dark color including black, color can make us uncomfortable. Color invites the world to look at us in a whole different way, it exposes us instead of letting us blend in. This exposure can evoke many feelings, for instance, fear and insecurity of being judged . Therefore, why not just blend ourselves in, it's easier and safe.

Finally, color forces us to make decisions, not just about how we look but, how we feel or, possibly about how we want to feel. Some colors make us and others who see us, feel a range of emotions: angry, sad, silly, giddy, anxious or even, ambivalent. Sometimes it's unclear where these emotions are coming from but, they are within us and, play a part on the effect colors have on the human brain.

“Black is a real sensation, even if it is produced by entire absence of light. The sensation of black is distinctly different from the lack of all sensation.” -Hermann von Helmholz

We often don't take into consideration all that color can do for us, including all black or white. It can: lift our spirits, create rapport, boost our confidence, make us laugh or simply comfort us. It comes down to trusting yourselves to add color and, try a little something different somewhere!

Now, when you are considering an all monochromatic look, step back, take a moment, and ask yourself, "how you're feeling, unsure, bloated, rushed, cranky or disinterested. Then ask yourself why. Maybe you just prefer to be invisible and simply blend in. This is ok! The little exercise is more about checking in with yourself and then getting dressed. Learning to consider your audience and what image you are wanting to project. I wear black now more than ever for a variety of reasons, which includes; a desire to blend in versus being noticed. However, I do not feel my look is complete or finished without adding a hint of color somewhere, even if the color is not visible to others. Take that thought where you will.

In truth, I’m not anti-black as I’ve known many who wear black so well and for those, finding other colors that work as well can be a challenge. In other words, all one color including black is okay. However, consider those few who really wear all black well; Coco Chanel, Angelina Jolie, Sean Connery , Johnny Cash, to name a few. To learn more about the affects of color consider hiring a professional to drape various colors around your face. What you will learn will fascinate you!

“It takes a certain amount of confidence to wear black well therefore, if you’re going to wear it, wear it confidently.”

Where black because you can not because you feel it’s the “ONLY” color that works for you.

To summarize, “Back to Black”

Wear black thoughtfully, understanding how you feel when you’re in it can change the outcome of the day ahead. Considering your mood and how it will be affected which will, affect how you are perceived. Be thoughtful when making your color or pattern choices. In other words, wear those colors you choose with confidence, don’t allow yourself to hide behind the stigmas of a monochromatic all black look. Let your style speak without words. Lastly, if you choose to add color in some way, consider this, it doesn’t have to be visible, your undies or socks will do.

In the words of the impeccable fashion guru, Tim Gunn of Project runway, “Make it work”.